I've always wanted to be a wolf.

Especially when I'm mad with frustration and the curtains are fluttering calmly in the corner.

Especially when I'm itching to scribble something down, but can't seem to find the right word.

When you're  a wolf, you don't just

close your eyes,

clench you're fists,

yell in frustration,

unclench,

ruffle up your hair,

stamp around and

throw mean looks at the placid curtains.

You get to

chase your tail,

chase the crows,

bark and growl and bare your teeth,

prance around and

claw at the curtains.

 

There's this school thing coming up and  I've been put in the group that has to come up with adverts.

I don't know why, but I seem to be completely stymied when we're brainstorming. And that kills me.

It happens all the time when we're in a group and have to come up with ideas.

I'm just completely dazed and just nod or say,'yeah, yeah' enthusiastically when I hear a good idea.

Maybe I'm just not a people person.

Or,

Maybe that little guy in my head that nudges me when there's food around and generally does the math and equations isn't a people person and dies of brief internal haemorrhage when he catches sight of them.

Or,

Maybe I just shouldn't have been put in the adverts group.

Bah.

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I don't have anything against curtains. They're just a bit too calm and collected for me to handle when I'm bogged down with frustraion.

Like that man in my poster in the midst of chaos, holding up the sign 'go placidly among the noise and haste'.